


A New Dawn

by Autumn - Gaia (GaiaMaiden)



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:40:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22215721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaiaMaiden/pseuds/Autumn%20-%20Gaia
Summary: My first crack at making a story about... anything really ^^;An origin story for one of my FF14 characters, Autumn Darbonne (aka Autumn Dawn). Takes place just before her arrival to Eorzea, but does jump back to the past few years beforehand!
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sleepless night leads to a chance encounter...

“What in the seven hells am I doing?”  
  
A singular thought rang out in her head, interrupting the sounds of crashing waves and creaking wood that otherwise filled the lonely night.  
  
Despite her body complaining of exhaustion, Autumn Darbonne found sleep elusive this night. Only hours ago had the ship left Thavnair, leaving behind all that she had ever known: Her father, her friends, and the only home she ever knew. She was all alone, with nothing but a small collection of necessities, tightly packed in a bag that lay to the side of her bed. The resolve that she had when the day had started had all but dissipated in the wake of the night.

The young elezen moaned in a mixture of annoyance and agony as she turned on her side, hoping the new position would grant her the sleep she so desperately wanted. Yet the night silently continued on for her, fear and anxiety swirling in her mind.  
  
“…Godsdammit!”  
  
Autumn quickly sat up, throwing her pillow against the wall in frustration. For a mercy, she was the only one inhabiting her cabin, otherwise she likely would have had to suffer the night in silence so as to not wake any would-be roommates. Yet despite having all that she would need for a quick descent into slumber, she simply could not manage it. She was scared, and no amount of exhaustion could silence her thoughts. A drawn out sigh escaped her lips before conceding that sleep (at this point) was impossible; she needed to calm down. “Not here though”, she mused, “too cramped in here”.  
  
Leaving the comfort of her bed, Autumn redressed herself in her travel outfit; A yellow tunic and denim pants, with boots, gloves and a visored turban, before stepping out of her cabin to take a walk around the ship that bore her to her destination: Eorzea.

\--  
  
It had to have been some hour late into the night, as most of the ship was dark and silent. In some ways, Autumn preferred it like this; things were noisier in the mess hall than she would have liked, and she didn’t much like the idea of unloading her troubles on some random merchant. Given her current state of mind, most would likely tell her to just sail back home anyhow. The confines of the ship made for a poor spot to work out her thoughts though (especially with so many actually getting sleep), so she made her way topside, hoping the fresh air and open view might be more helpful.  
  
Not much greeted her as Autumn made her way up onto the deck. Though the moonlight provided ample illumination, there was no one around to see, and no land around for malms. “Gonna have a lot of nights like this… and days too for that matter” she whispered to herself, before giving out another sigh. She glanced around before deciding to head up to the rear of the ship; she could at least pretend she could still see her home that way.  
  
Autumn came to a rest on the rear balcony, a view of the ship’s wake serving as the only real entertainment on the quiet night. She took some moments to herself before trying to work out the storm in her head anew. Yes, she was alone; the first real time in her life that she was. It should be normal to feel scared, especially when someone moves out into the world for the first time. But… was this really the way to go about it? She had a safe and stable way of “making it in the world”; becoming some professor’s assistant, making her own vital discovery, making it rich because of said discovery, etc, etc.  
  
_But you remember why you stopped, right? You were miserable in that life! Seven hells, it wasn’t even really **your** life, it was the life your father wanted you to live-!  
_  
_It was better than nothing! At least I **had** a direction!_  
  
_And now, for the first time, you have your **own** direction!_  
  
_But I’ve never done anything physically demanding all my life! Sure, the chakra stuff might come easy to me, but for all I know, I’ll end up returning to Thavnair after having lost an **arm**!_  
  
_At least then you can say you **tried**!_  
  
_**But** -!_  
  
Autumn could only shut her eyes in frustration to the war inside her mind. She felt like she had the answers she needed already, yet it did nothing to quell the fear in her. What she was doing was crazy… and yet-  
  
“Ahoy!”  
  
\--  
  
“Gah!”  
  
Autumn yelped out of reflex. She should have expected someone to get curious about why she was out here sooner or later, but part of her figured she’d just be left alone at this time of night. Yet, as her composure returned, she turned to her right and found a Roegadyn woman, confidently standing there, meeting her confused look with a playful smirk.  
  
“A-ahoy...” was all she could reply with.  
  
“Apologies miss, I didn’t mean to startle ye like that. Just got abit excited is all; I didn’t expect anyone else to really be out 'ere ‘sides me and the fishes”.  
  
The Sea Wolf in front of her was dressed like many of the other deckhands she had seen around the vessel. _Must be here to usher me back to my room_ , Autumn thought to herself.  
  
“It’s fine”, she muttered, before returning her gaze back towards the sea.  
  
A brief silence hung between the two before the deckhand adjusted her stance and started again:  
  
“What, that’s it?”  
  
Autumn turned to the woman, a mixture of annoyance and confusion showing in her scowl.  
  
“Aw, don’t be like that, lass. Just tryin’ to be friendly is all.”  
  
Autumn turned back toward the sea, her gaze lower than before.  
  
“I’ll head back to my room soon, I just… need a minute”.  
  
“Now now, there’s no need for that”, the deckhand started. “I mean, aye, I should be shooin’ ye back to yer room, but…”  
  
She strutted over beside Autumn, her right arm resting on the railing.  
  
“You see, tonight, I 'appened to be the poor sod who pulled the short straw and 'ad to take the graveyard shift. Now, I don’t know if ye’ve ever done one before, but if you 'aven’t, then let me tell you: They. Are. _Boring_. Important, aye, but absolutely _boring_.”  
  
Autumn returned her gaze to the woman before she continued.  
  
“Ordinarily, there’s nothing out here to pass the time with, especially on this 'ere route. No rocks, no islands, not even a stray fiend 'alf the time! But lo an behold: a friendly face who looks like shes got abit of a story to tell!”, she said, gesturing towards Autumn. “So 'ow about this: whatever it _is_ on yer chest, go ahead an let me hear it; 'owever long you need to take! And if ye can keep me entertained through the rest of this godsdamned night…”  
  
She paused, her hand massaging her chin as if she was suddenly deep in thought.  
  
“Well… to be 'onest, I got nothin’. The captain don’t really give a piss on who’s running around on deck, as long as they ain’t a pirate or some other pain in the arse. But uhh… well… y-yer a nice lass, aye?”  
  
_Please leave me alone_ , thought the Elezen. She was half tempted to spit the thought out outright, yet before the mood took her, a line from her old headmaster rang out in her head:

“If nothing else, remember this, my dear. The path you look to take is a lonely one indeed. You might find that agreeable now, but one day, this world will sorely test you, and you will wish to have had _someone_ by your side at that point. No one, no matter how strong, can do it all alone.”  
  
She took stock of her situation for a few seconds before looking down in defeat.  
  
_Ah… what the hell. What else am I gonna do, go back to my room and **not** sleep?_  
  
Autumn finally turned completely face-to-face with her new acquaintance, and finally got a good look at her. She was slightly taller than her, sporting yellow eyes and long, silver hair with what looked like blue highlights at her tips. It was hard to focus on much else however, as she was currently sporting (what she could only believe to be) a pitying look, not unlike a small puppy begging for scraps from the table.  
  
“I… guess it’d be better if I talked to... _someone_ about it.”, she admitted.  
  
“A _ha_! It’s a deal, Miss…”  
  
“Autumn.”  
  
“Autumn…”  
  
“Autumn.”  
  
“Oh come now, yer name can’t be _just_ Autumn.”  
  
“It’s not… but… listen, I can’t tell you, it’s complicated. I had to promise that to my father to even get the chance to leave.”  
  
“…That and the visor, for… some reason”, Autumn noted, tapping her turban.  
  
The deckhand placed her hands on her hips, trying to process what had just been said. It didn’t take long before she threw her hands up in a shrug, however.  
  
“Ah… well… I’m sure ye have yer reasons. Though from one fair lass to another, ye might want to 'ave a better answer than that in the future. ‘Tis 'ard to trust another when they won’t even tell ye their whole name.”  
  
She extended her right hand outward, looking for a handshake.  
  
“Raging Tide, pleased to meet ya!”  
  
Autumn reached her hand out, though with a look of confusion accompanying the handshake.  
  
“Isn’t that… more of a Hellsguard name?”, she blurted out.  
  
“Sea Wolves can have names like that too!”, replied the deckhand.  
  
_True, I suppose._  
  
“…Aye lass, it ‘tis, and a hell of a lot easier on the tongue than my actual name too! Ye ain’t gonna amount to much on the seas if the captain can’t manage to bark out orders to ya when it all turns to shite. Yer not much more than dead weight at that point.”  
  
“Is that right?” Autumn snapped back.  
  
Raging Tide sighed haggardly; the irony was not lost on her. “Alright, alright, it’s- wait, if I just say it, then that’s cheatin’. Ye got any parchment?”  
  
Autumn nodded, pulling out a small journal (and accompanying pencil) from one of her pockets.   
  
“Aye, thanks lass”, she replied, before grabbing the journal and quickly jotting down 2 words. “Alright, lets see ye take a crack at it”.  
  
Autumn grabbed her journal back, noting the new addition to its pages. For a hardened sailor, she had remarkably neat handwriting, but that was neither here nor there. She squinted at the entry almost reflexively while trying to put the syllables together in her head.  
  
“Un…syn..wys Rhotgi…geim…wyn.”  
  
“Hmph, not bad for a first attempt! A lot better than any of the sorry sods on ‘ere at least. Doesn’t quite roll off the tongue so easily though, aye?”  
  
Autumn gave a quick nod in response.  
  
“I much prefer _Raging Tide_!”, exclaimed the Sea Wolf. “Came up with it meself. I like to think it captures me essence much better than that other silly name. 'Sides, I can drink 'alf this ship under the table, and only ‘cause the other 'alf is too scared to try!”  
  
She punctuated her statement with a hearty laugh, one Autumn couldn’t help but to nervously chuckle along with.  
  
“Enough about me though, what about _ye_? What are ye doing aboard this fine vessel? Startin’ an apprenticeship with one of them 'annish traders?”  
  
Autumn looked away, somewhat embarrassed by the question.  
  
“N-no, I’m afraid I’m all by myself here”.  
  
“I see… An alchemist then? You lot tend to be rather solitary.”  
  
“N-no.”  
  
“No? A scholar then? Can’t think of much else ye could be.”  
  
Autumn couldn’t help but wince at that last guess. “Maybe in another life… but no.”  
  
Raging Tide found herself stumped. “I didn’t think much else came outta that island… unless... ye be one of _them_ …”, she mused as she moved closer to Autumn, the sound of sniffing growing louder as she did.  
  
“I am _Not_ a spice dealer”, Autumn hissed.  
  
“With all due respect lass, I would think ye more a _pack-mule_ than a dealer; Ye look far too… _green_ to be anything more serious than that.”  
  
“I…” The words hung in Autumn’s mouth. _Is it that obvious?_  
  
The deckhand crossed her arms in confusion. “Well, I’m stumped, what’re ye here for then?”  
  
Autumn felt her chest tighten. _She’s gonna laugh. No way she doesn’t._  
She looked away from Raging Tide in a feeble attempt to hide her growing shame.  
  
“I’m… traveling to Eorzea… to hopefully become a monk.”  
  
A moment of silence passed between the two, one that felt like a small eternity to the Elezen.  
  
“...A _Monk_?” Raging Tide exclaimed, “Ye mean… like one of them punchy, kicky folk from Gyr Abania?”  
  
Autumn only gave a feeble nod in response. _Here it comes._  
  
Yet no laugh came, only more silence. After what felt like hours to her, Autumn looked up to the Sea Wolf in response, thinking that she was trying to stifle a laugh. Yet she was met with only a face of confusion that matched her own.  
  
“Huh… I wasn’t expectin'… _that_ ”, she stated, clearly dumbstruck. “Like I said though lass, and I don’t mean to disrespect ye like this… but ye don’t exactly strike me as a… fighter?”  
  
Autumn could only hang her head in shame. _It’s because she wasn’t. Not yet anywho, but…_  
  
Raging Tide noted the growing discomfort in her soft-spoken friend.  
“D-don’t… look I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring you down like that. I just… the world’s a cruel place you know... and I-I…” her words trailed off as she looked away. Though there was merit to what she would have said, she figured it would only have further soured the mood.  
  
She gave careful thought to her next words before turning her gaze back: “Well, I imagine ye had a good reason for goin’ after something like this, aye?”  
  
Again, Autumn nodded.  
  
“Come now then, lets hear it!” exclaimed the deckhand, resting her back against the railing, “ _This_ be the story I’ve been waitin’ all night for!”  
  
_Her enthusiasm’s infectious, at the least_ , Autumn thought. She briefly looked down in an effort to gather her thoughts before turning back towards the sea, her arms propping her up on the ledge.  
  
“Where’s… a good place to start…”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Start of the reminiscing! Autumn joins an Academy and some not pleasant things happen!
> 
> Most of chapter is told from Autumn's perspective.

From an early age, my father groomed me to be… well… educated, to say the least. He took great pains to teach me all sorts of things. Hells, our house was half book on more than one occasion.   
  
It was the only real sight I got to see for the longest time though. For some reason, my dad was always hesitant in letting me out of the house. It didn’t help that the few times he did typically ended with me getting injured in some way: a scraped knee, bump on the head, bruises on my arms and legs; I always found a new way to injure myself somehow. Combined with my rather frail health at the time, it meant I spent most of my childhood indoors and away from other people. I… didn’t really get the chance to interact with others much till my early teenage years, and truth be told, I feel like father kinda wanted it that way.  
  
Things changed when the Seventh Umbral Calamity happened though. Well, maybe not changed, just… sped things up alittle, which is kinda funny considering it happened nowhere near Thavnair. You see, he had long planned on enrolling me in this academy just outside of Radz-at-Han, you see, the Academy of Genbu. I guess-  
  
_What in the world's a 'Genbu'?_  
  
Oh, u-uhh… from what I know, some legendary turtle from the Far East. Don't really know much more than that.  
  
Anyways, I guess a really pissed off dragon was enough of a push for him to finally go through with it; I don’t really know why honestly, and didn’t think enough of it at the time to really ask. His hesitation proved to be very _unfounded_ too; I supposedly ended up acing the entrance exam. Headmaster Alain came by to my house to deliver the good news himself!  
  
My education didn’t exactly start right away though; the Calamity had messed up a lot of things in a lot of places, so they had to call off the current school year. As a result, I ended up entering the academy alongside a lot of that years’ freshmen, which ordinarily wouldn’t be a problem I suppose. Unfortunately, in this case it was, ‘cause it put me on a collision-course with this... one guy.  
  
His name was Xander, and he's half the reason why I'm here now.  
  
\--  
  
To give some background, Xander was this random Hyur whose family hailed from an Imperial Province up north. A family that, if some rumors could be believed, helped the Imperials take over their hometown to begin with. Either way, their rulers favored them quite alot, which allowed his parents to give him "an education worthy of the crown-bleedin' prince himself", as he was oft to put it. Unfortunely, one lesson his teachers elected _not_ to give him, apparently, was how to not develop an inflated ego. Raging Tide, let me tell you, he was _insufferable_ ; He had to constantly lord himself over others, as if letting any moment of peace develop would allow people to think that he wasn't deserving of every last accolade in the realm.  
  
Granted, before the Calamity abruptly ended the school year, he took every opportunity to prove that his boasts weren't just for show. He supposedly was the top performing student in the class, and by a sizable margin too. By the time I showed up at the Academy, he already had a small following of other students: some buying into his constant showboating, some hoping to gain the respect of the "top student", and some just hoping to get some free tutoring lessons, I'd wager.  
  
_Heh... I wager by how yer talkn' 'bout 'im that you **weren't** one of them?_  
  
_Gods_ no, my first impression was that he was just too noisy for his own good. Kinda hard to study when you have some blowhard shouting into the aether about how everyone should be bowing at his feet.  
  
That being said, I mostly just kept to myself at the beginning; An isolated childhood doesn't exactly gift someone with great social skills after all. By the Warden, just being around all those people initially was nerve-wracking for me. Luckily, barely anyone paid me any mind in the beginning; As far as they were concerned, I was just this weird girl that nobody had ever heard of, and most were content to go no further than that.  
  
If only it could have stayed that way.  
  
_Ye punched 'is daylights out, didn't ye?!  
_  
Wait, what? N-no! I...  
  
...  
  
Well, I might as well have, as far as he was concerned. Heck, getting into a fight with him may have left things better off than what ended up happening.  
  
_Eh?_  
  
...When you spend most of your life believing you're the best, and then some random nobody shows up one day and bests you... well, how would you react?  
  
_I dunno... I'd probably be mad as all 'ell... or think it was a fluke or somethin'._  
  
Well, that's about how it went. First major exam for our class, and I ended up with the top score. "Beginner's Luck!", he declared to his faithful masses... and anyone else within earshot for that matter. Honestly, I agreed with him too; I didn't have any intentions on besting him, I was just focusing on _not failing_.  
  
But then the second exam came; a mathematics exam. Got the top score again. That's when the excuses started:   
  
"'Twas always my weakest subject!"  
"The professor was subpar!"  
"I had much trouble sleeping that night!"  
  
At that point, some of my classmates started to try to talk to me. They were genuinely curious about how I was outperforming 'Xander himself'. Some even asked for tips for studying. I still mostly kept to myself then though, and for the most part was left alone.  
  
...The attention was kinda nice though, in a way.  
  
But then the third exam happened, and I beat him again. You'd be forgiven for thinking the gates to the seventh hell itself had suddenly opened up. Next thing I knew, Xander and his entourage ambush me and start hurling accusations that I was cheating or something. Took getting the damn professor for that exam to prove that I wasn't. You should have seen how dejected he looked when he finally realized that someone had finally beaten him.  
  
Instead of walking off with his tail between his legs though, he suddenly goes and declares me his "bitter rival"! Vows that all that had happened before was nothing more than a fluke, and that he'd rue the day I crossed him. Etc, etc.  
  
For the remainder of that year and effectively the two that followed it, I had to spend my time in the academy constantly hounded by that man. _Especially_ if he got the highest score on an exam... or anything else he could claim superiority over me. If nothing else, it did help to keep my scores up; his taunting and blowhard-ing were so irritating, I tried to study hard enough to beat him when I could. He was... _slightly_ quieter in defeat.  
  
His "rivalry" had one other benefit; I wasn't the only one that Xander irritated the piss out of. Fighting him, in a matter of speaking, earned me no shortage of friends. Honestly though, some were just hoping to get better grades through me, and some pitied how Xander and his gang would come after me. In truth, I never got terribly close to many, on account that I could barely keep a conversation going if it didn't involve our studies. Still, made things more manageable.  
  
Now, if the story had ended as it should have, we should have battled each other till the day we graduated, and then spent our professional careers trying to one up each other, all the while furthering science and... whatever the hell else we got our hands on.  
  
...If only, huh.  
  
\--  
  
_...I'm guessin' somethin' 'appened.  
_  
You could say that.  
  
It was about... towards the end of my third year, if I'm remembering things correctly. We had braked from classes for the week, and I was heading back to my room to relax for the afternoon. It was an otherwise quiet day.  
  
Until the vicinity started to shake.  
  
Not like an earthquake, mind you, it was more like an explosion. Initially, I figured it was just an alchemy concoction gone wrong; happened often enough. But then it happened again and again, in an irregular rhythm of sorts. As I walked closer to one of the courtyards, I could tell things were getting louder, both with the shaking as well as the presence of voices.  
  
Then I turn a corner, and I see a wall just... explode. Rock and dust just come flying out every which way. Once it settled, I saw... _it_ ; A voidsent ogre, claws dripping with blood.  
  
People started fleeing in my direction, some of them yelling at me to run for my life. As they fled, the town guard ran towards the beast, with spears and swords at the ready. Yet they might as well have been wielding sticks for all it mattered; everything seemed to just... bounce off the damn thing. A single swipe from its claws was enough to rend the armor they wore too. It was a _massacre_ , playing out right in front of my eyes.  
  
I froze; I just couldn't process what was happening in front of me. All I could do was watch as this monster just tore through everyone and everything.  
  
A single scream tore me back to reality. It came from one of my closer friends, Celica, who had fallen to the ground close to the monster. It took notice of her scream, and started to slowly make its way to her.   
  
There wasn't any more guards around to take it on at that point; just the monster and her. If I ran at that point... she... probably would have died right there.  
  
...My body moved on its own.   
  
I pulled out this arcanist tome I had on me and threw out a quick spell. Didn't do much to the fiend, but it _did_ get its attention, and it did _not_ like me hitting it like that. It completely ignored Celica at that point and started coming after me at full speed.  
  
I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. Initially, it was just to save my own hide, but I figured that if it was chasing me, it wasn't chasing anyone else. My only real hope was to potentially find a place to trap the fiend, or at least steer it in front of someone that could deal with it.   
  
I threw out the occasional Ruin spell to keep its attention, and ran towards one of the archives, hoping some of the locks they had there could hold it. Everything was going surprisingly well, looking back at it now.  
  
_...I'm sensin' a but._  
  
...One of the areas I went into was one the monster had already been through; litter and debris everywhere. I turn the corner and immediately trip over some rubble strew across the ground. My clumsiness was rewarded by the voidsent slamming me into one of the nearby pillars.  
  
All I can remember from that moment was a ringing in my ears, and a dull, but rapidly worsening pain in my chest. I could taste blood in my mouth too, or at least I thought it was blood.  
  
While I lay on the ground, I could see the monster slowly advancing towards me, savoring what would likely have been its next meal.  
  
_Well clearly it didn't end in dinnertime... unless I've been talkin' to a ghost all this time.  
_  
Heh... maybe in another life. In this one though, well... one moment the fiend was slowly lumbering towards me, the next, a yellow blur slams into it from the side and knocks it away like it was nothing. That blur turned out to be this... woman. She was dressed in a yellow garb with not much more than some fancy... brass knuckles or something. Based on what I had witnessed thus far, I figured she was throwing her life away to save mine. Yet... as she fought the fiend, every blow she delivered seemed to be rather painful to it. She was so fast too... it was like something out of one of my old bedtime stories.  
  
Sure enough, after a few minutes, she managed to beat the thing into submission; the voidsent crumpled to the ground in agony. She turned around to face me... and gave me a thumbs up! It was surreal.  
  
She was definitely winded though, and stopped to take a quick breather. That's when I noticed the voidsent starting to get up again. I tried to scream out to her, but I couldn't manage much more than a slight wheezing.  
  
I guess what happened next sounds kinda clichéd: I was desperately willing my body to move, even just alittle bit. Almost got to my feet actually, but the pain in my chest flared before I could manage it. Still, just as the fiend was set to claw the backside of that woman, I picked my tome back up and threw a spell at it. Again, didn't do much, but it _did_ succeed in catching the thing off-guard, _and_ alerting the woman to the imminent threat. Clearly perturbed, she turns around on her heel and delivers this devastating uppercut. I hear this pained roar, and then the voidsent explodes into a cloud of black mist.   
  
It was over.  
  
Our eyes met again, and I flashed her a smile. Then I promptly blacked out.  
  
\--  
  
"Alright...", Raging Tide started, "Excitin' story an all so far, but 'ow in the seven hells did a voidsent make it inside some cushy academy?"  
  
"I guess I kinda glossed over that part, huh", admitted Autumn.   
  
"One thing that the academy allowed students to do in order to 'further their standings' was to take up certain extra-curricular activities; ways to further prove their intelligence or diligence or... what have you. When I was there, that typically led to one of two different paths: Alchemy or Arcanistry. The latter tended to be the easier of the two to do since you had to supply your own materials for the former".  
  
"Well, concerning my 'rivalry', I would more often that not come out on top. So, in order to 'defeat' me, Xander had to take up one of those activites in order to make any headway against me. Sure enough, he regained his position as the top student after a few weeks, and made damn sure to let me know about it." Autumn sighed, recounting more of Xander's pestering.  
  
"Of course, I had advantage over him for so long, he took his victory like a sore... winner? Is there such things as a sore winner?"  
  
Raging Tide shrugged at the question.  
  
"Anyways, his boasts and such upgraded to outright insults at that point. He even gets it in his head that I didn't _dare_ try to learn arcanistry because 'I was too _scared_ '".  
  
"Well, you said you used some spells against that voidsent, so I assume ye fought fire with fire then?", exclaimed the deckhand.  
  
"I did. It cut into some of my spare free time, but I managed to teach myself a few spells. Mostly just Ruin, Ruin II, Bio; you know, the basics." replied Autumn. "At least enough to get the proverbial monkey off my back."  
  
"Seeing this", she continued, "Xander redoubled his efforts into the arguable 'next step' in such arts: Summoning a Carbuncle. After a fashion, he does just that. Now, as far as the Academy was concerned, at that point, he was just showing off. They were encouraging about learning spells, but the actual summoning of a familiar was something not taken into account when it came to grades and whatnot." Autumn chuckled softly, "Something about a carbuncle getting into the kitchen once and eating all the vegetables for a month or something like that."  
  
"Of course, when I found out he did that, I knew I had to follow suit. However...", the Elezen paused, "For some reason, I could never quite wrap my head around the concept. Tried as I might, I couldn't summon a Carbuncle for the life of me."  
  
"Even as his lead in the student standings evaporated, Xander finally found his true advantage against me, and he proceeded to outright torment me about it. 'Look at this failure, unable to summon a measly little rat!', he would shout." Another, more pained sigh escaped Autumn's lips.  
  
Raging Tide had trouble hiding her confusion: "Alright, so how does that turn into a voidsent goin' on a rampage?"  
  
Autumn glances to her companion before turning back to the sea, a forlorn sadness in her eyes.  
  
"One weekend, he gets particularly nasty with me. I don't remember everything that he said, I just remember holing myself up in my room and sobbing into my pillow for an hour or two. At that point, I decided enough was enough; I basically locked myself in my room for the whole weekend and dedicated every last moment to summoning a Carbuncle."  
  
"And ye did it?"  
  
"You're damn right I did. My first successful attempt was a rather meek and feeble one, but it was a Carbuncle, all the same. I still remember the first time I summoned it in front of him; he had the look of someone who just witnessed their beloved pet adamantoise get gobbled up by a goobbue or something".  
  
Autumn paused for a few moments, slowly breathing in some of the sea-tinged air before continuing.  
  
"When the authorities came 'round to investigate the cause of the voidsent's rampage, they traced back its trail of carnage back to a rather secluded storeroom towards the outskirts of the academy. Inside... they found the mutilated bodies of 5 students... Xander being one of them."  
  
Raging Tide's jaw dropped upon hearing the news. "That _whoreson_ summoned it?!"  
  
Autumn could only solemnly nod to her question. "Apparently, when I managed to summon a Carbuncle, something in him _snapped_. His one real advantage he had over me was dead and gone, after all."  
  
"...Still, it took me ages to be able to manage just a Carbuncle. Thus, in his mind, all he had to do was summon something... _bigger_ , then he could reassert his superiority over me. However, from what one of his friends mentioned after the fact, he also came to the conclusion that he couldn't just go 'one stage up'... whatever that meant. He had to go all out and summon something so amazing, everyone would have to conclude that he was... the best."  
  
"So he went an' summoned a voidsent".  
  
"Yeah. He had some of his lackeys steal some books out of the forbidden sections of the library, and got to work in that storeroom." Autumn turned back to Raging Tide, meeting her gaze with a stern look. "Now, I don't know how much you know about summoning a Voidsent, but the one thing that matters in this case is this: They can tell how strong you are. If you summon one and try to order it around, and it determines that it's stronger than you... they tend to disobey... _violently_ in most cases."  
  
The deckhand reflexively looked away, grimacing at the impromptu lesson. "Sheesh... couldn't 'ave 'appened to a nicer guy..."  
  
The two of them stood for awhile, with only the sound of crashing waves against the ship interrupting the silence.  
  
Raging Tide was the first to speak anew: "Alright, so that Xander fellow is dead, the Voidsent is gone, and yer... what, off licking your wounds in the infirmary, I'd wager?"  
  
"Yeah", replied Autumn, "That's where the other half of my story starts..."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Autumn makes a friend, and undergoes an important event...

From what the chiurgeons told me, I spent the next 3 days in a deep sleep. Probably for the better; although I somehow didn't break any bones during my little stunt, the blow I took from that voidsent bruised several ribs, and the subsequent impact against that pillar didn't help things any.  
  
When I finally woke up, I was still in quite abit of pain. I could tell my chest was bandaged up quite abit, but otherwise I was just in one of those simple outfits they put you in when you're healing up.  
  
...Wanna guess what the first thing I asked the nurses when I woke up was?  
  
 _The way ye makin' it sound, probably something dumb, aye?_  
  
"Did I miss my final exams?"  
  
 _Hahahaha! Yer kiddin' me!_  
  
Yeah, some priorities I had, huh? Then again, I already knew how and why I was there. They told me what had happened to me exactly, but they held off on telling me the details about said voidsent initially. Granted, at that point, I didn't know if the investigation had gotten that far yet, though if it had, I imagine they were just trying to not stress me until I had recovered more.  
  
...Either that or they were trying to find a way to smooth things over with Xander's parents before the news broke out. Part of the reason he got in was because they footed quite the hefty bill getting him in; I dunno.  
  
The first few days in the infirmary I spent mostly sleeping. Wasn't much otherwise to do; I was more or less confined to bed, and my chest injury made it difficult to get in a comfortable position to read. The first real thing to break up the monotony was a visit from 2 very important people: Headmaster Alain... and the female monk that saved my life.  
  
It was then that Mr. Alain gave me the news about what had happened; about how Xander had summoned the voidsent ogre and his subsequent fate. I felt... awful... because I felt responsible for it all-  
  
 _Responsible?! You?! He was the one that summoned the damn thing, not you!_  
  
If it wasn't for me though, he wouldn't have summoned it in the first place! I basically pushed him to do it-!  
  
 _Nononononono, now you listen 'ere, lass. **He** made the decision to bring that thing in. When you summoned that Carbuncle, **he** could've responded so many different ways. He picked **that** one, and he paid for it._  
  
But what about all the people that died because of his decision? They died... they died because-  
  
 _Because of ' **im** then! Yer overthinkin' this, lass!  
_  
...  
  
 _...Listen to me... you are not to blame for what happened, okay? Ye hear me?  
_  
...I...  
  
 _I'll be slappin' you if I think ye be thinkin' that still._  
  
Okay! Okay! I get it, it wasn't my fault!  
  
 _Aye, that's better._  
  
...  
  
 _..._  
  
I... forgot where I was in the story.  
  
 _Yer headmaster came in and told ye 'bout the thing._  
  
Oh right.   
  
\--  
  
"It was a very brave thing that you did, my dear. Without your intervention, I can scarce imagine how much more destruction that accursed fiend would have caused."  
  
Headmaster Alain stood to the side of Autumn's bed as he delivered the young Elezen the news. Though his advanced age and kind deposition would lead many people to think he was a quiet and soft old man, he could still exude a commanding aura when it was needed. Considering what had just happened, it would serve him well in the days past and those still to come.  
  
"Your actions saved a great deal of lives. On behalf of the Academy, I thank you, Autumn."  
  
"Thank you, Headmaster", Autumn meekly replied, "though... in all honesty, I don't feel like I deserve such praise. If what you said is true, then it was partly my fault that all this happened in the first place..."  
  
Alain stroked his chin in contemplation; "Hmm, you speak of your relationship with young Xander, no?"  
  
"Y-yes..."  
  
"Then I fear the blame is better placed upon myself and some of my colleagues than you." Alain's head hung in shame as he continued; "We knew of that boy's 'rivalry' with you, and what that entailed... at least on the surface. When we first heard of such a thing, we believed that it would prove beneficial for the both of you. You two were our finest students, after all, and we had hoped that such a thing would push the two of you to perform all the better."  
  
"Yet... to my disgrace, I was unaware of the true nature of this relationship, and we as educators failed to put a stop to things before the worst could happen. For this, I can only truly offer you my deepest condolences."  
  
Though through seemingly pained effort, the Headmaster dropped to his knee and bowed to his student. Autumn merely turned away, mostly out of embarrassment.  
  
"On the topic of your deeds...", Alain wheezed as he attempted to stand back up, "Allow me to introduce to you a good friend of mine."  
  
Finally back on both of his feet, he gestured towards the woman standing just behind him. Autumn recognized the woman almost immediately; a tall, tanned highlander with short black hair, dressed in a bright yellow garb. The woman who had saved her from the ogre just as it was set to finish her off.  
  
"This is Rayne Stout; disciple of the renowned Fist of Rhalgr."  
  
"Heh, what's left of it anyways. Pleased to meetcha!" Rayne gave a small wave towards Autumn. "Thanks for saving my own hide, by the way. Those blasted buggers always have to try being so damned sneaky."  
  
"I'm just glad what I did worked", chuckled Autumn. "Thank you though, I wouldn't be here right now without you."  
  
"Aww, stop it, you're gonna make me blush", replied Rayne, as she tried to hide her quickly reddening cheeks.  
  
"Ordinarily...", Alain continued, "Miss Stout here would be traveling the world, looking to spread the teachings of the Fist of Rhalgr. However, her recent work had taken her close to Thavnair, and considering how Aetherology is a rather popular subject here... hohoho, quite the idea came to me!" He laughed for a few seconds more before launching into a coughing fit.  
  
Autumn and Rayne both let a small chuckle escape their lips, something that didn't go unnoticed.  
  
"Now now you two, 'tis not nice to laugh at the elderly!" he chided. "Anyways... Autumn! I know you are knowledgeable on how an Arcanist fights, but do you know how a Monk like Miss Stout here fights?"  
  
"Uhhh... through p-punching and kicking?" said the confused Elezen, "Since you brought up Aetherology, I assume there's something more to it than that..."  
  
"Hohoho, you are on the right track at least, my dear! Yes, a Monk's fighting style is a rather simple looking one, but as you gathered, there is far more to it." Alain moved a nearby chair next to the bed and sat himself down before continuing the impromptu lecture.  
  
"Much of the Fist of Rhalgr's combat style focuses on the belief that there are multiple points in your body that are responsible for regulating the flow of the aether within you. They refer to these points as _Chakras_ , and Monks are trained to be able to open these control points _on demand_. When they do this, they enhance their physical capabilities, turning a simple jab, for instance, into-"  
  
"Into punching a hole through a full-grown voidsent... if it hadn't blown up beforehand", Rayne interjected, shrugging at her lost opportunity to show off.  
  
Waving off the interruption, Alain continued on: "Anywho, I had the idea of holding a workshop showcasing how these chakras work with manipulating the flow of one's own aether, and Miss Stout here kindly agreed to hosting it!"  
  
Alain softly laughed to himself; his way of patting himself on the back. Autumn glanced over to Rayne in the meanwhile, who answered her gaze with a prideful smile.  
  
When Alain started again, however, his mood was far more muted: "Now... originally, I had planned on offering this to only the more senior students... or those with the highest scores. However, considering recent events, I now plan on opening this to anyone who wishes to attend, and not just the students, mind you. That is, if you don't mind, Miss Stout."  
  
"Hey, more the merrier! The whole point was to teach more people my techniques, so this only works out even more in my favor!" an elated Rayne responded.  
  
As the two talked to each other for the moment, Autumn was left to contemplate her situation. It didn't take long for one thought to stand out.  
  
"...what about the final exams, Headmaster?"  
  
The conversation between monk and headmaster came to a sudden halt. Alain looked back at his student with the kindest face he could manage.  
  
"I've elected to cancel the final exams for this year. Considering all that has happened, I doubt most students would be able to focus enough to perform at their best. Everyone that still wishes to remain at the academy will automatically receive passing grades for their classes, and proceed to their next year... A small consolation for this terrible incident, but a decent enough starting point, I should hope."  
  
The Headmaster got up from his chair and began to move towards the open doorway, before turning back to face Autumn.  
  
"For now, my dear, focus on your recovery. You've been through alot; you deserve some rest."  
  
With that, he quietly exited the room, leaving the two women to themselves. A period of quiet settled in the room.  
  
"Uhh...", Rayne hesitated, "I... I probably should leave you too it as well."  
  
The Monk started to move towards the doorway, before stopping suddenly right before the threshold.  
  
"Hey uhh... random thought, but uhh, if you can think of any way for me to pay you back for the save there... let me know, 'k? I get it that you might feel like you owe me, but I was serious about the whole 'saving my hide' thing. Sucker probably would have gotten me if not for you."  
  
Autumn looked on, unsure of how to respond to the seemingly earnest request. In the end, she responded in her classic fashion: "I'll... think about it."  
  
"You do that. Take it easy!", exclaimed Rayne, as she exited the room, giving a small wave to signify the end of the conversation.  
  
When she knew that Rayne was outside of earshot, Autumn quietly scoffed. "Heh, maybe she can help me actually be able to outrun a voidsent... or maybe even...." She considered the thought for a moment, before shrugging it off and slidding back into her covers, and returning to slumber.  
  
Yet, that would only prove to the first of many conversations with her savior...  
  
\--  
  
For the first couple of days in the infirmary following that meeting, it was quiet. The chiurgeons wanted to limit interactions for those injured to the voidsent attack as much as possible; not even family could be let in in some cases, including mine.  
  
Part of the reason, as it turns out, was that the investigation into Xander's summoning ended up unearthing some rather... unsavory secrets about the academy. Apparently, a number of the senior staff were taking payments from specific families in order to favor their child over others. For some, this would involve raising their grades, or just making sure they didn't fail. For others, this involved looking the other way when their child did things... not exactly "up to code".  
  
 _I'm guessin' Xander was in that latter group, aye?_  
  
He was, and that was the reason why people like Headmaster Alain never found out about how Xander was treating me; those professors quashed any reports anyone made about it before they could go anywhere.   
  
The day the academy announced the final report about the incident was when the quiet was first broken. The first person to see me was my father. I expected him to be more upset about the situation than he ended up reacting, but he was just more concerned for my own well-being at that point.  
  
Not that he didn't get the chance to chew someone's head off. Apparently, shortly after my admittance to the infirmary, Headmaster Alain went to go inform my father about what had happened, and to take responsibility. Honestly, it probably would have ended alot worse if the two hadn't forged a friendship of sorts prior to the incident. I don't know for sure how it went, but it sounded like things got smoothed over as a result, and the revelation of the corrupt professors and their protecting of Xander likely made sure it never got any worse between them.  
  
After that, I started to get a trickling of visitors, mostly fellow students. Celica, the friend that I had saved, was among the first, who proceeded to hug me so hard, I thought one of my ribs would've given out! Most of the rest of them merely came to express gratitude towards me for what I did; apparently news of my little stunt spread fast among everyone (thanks in part to Celica), and they considered me a hero for it. Not that I felt like a hero... but it was nice.   
  
I _did_ have some of Xander's crowd come by as well, or at least the more conscientious ones. They told me they felt bad about how he treated me and that they didn't do anything 'cause then Xander would turn his ire on them, etc, etc. I had half a mind to tell them to sod off, but I just too weak at the time to be able to get that angry at them. Plus, at least _they_ apologized, some of the others tried spreading bad rumors about me while I was recovering. They found themselves quickly alone though... which again, was nice.  
  
Yet, beyond the occasional check-ins by my father, the one person that ended up visiting me the most during my recovery was actually Rayne. She seemed to have taken a genuine interest in me for some reason. Alot of our earlier conversations were just small talk, which was painful for me because I sucked at it so much. Still, when I would start to sputter out, she would carry the conversation onward.  
  
...She was a nice person to talk to. She told me about her mission, where she had been traveling the world, trying to spread her martial art techniques to as many people willing to listen; Her way of keeping the Fist of Rhalgr alive following its destruction by the hands of Mad King Theodric. Ordinarily, I wouldn't really care too much about what she said, but since I was stuck recovering in bed (and not otherwise occupied with schoolwork for once), it was a nice change of pace. I can tell she was passionate about her work though; I swear I could see the fire in her eyes when she got going hard enough. It was... infectious, to say the least.  
  
Things changed alittle bit when the date for the "Monk Workshop" finally got announced; Rayne started to talk out loud about how she was planning it. I felt like she was looking for someone to bounce ideas off of, more than anything.  
  
But then, one fateful day... she asked me something...  
  
\--  
  
"I don't know if I've asked yet, but have you considered comin' to my workshop?"  
  
The question caught Autumn off-guard; Rayne had been bouncing from one topic to another with said workshop just moments before.  
  
"M-me? You must be _joking_."  
  
"Well uhh..." Rayne struggled with a response, "Okay, that's kinda fair; askin' someone that's basically been bed-ridden for 2 weeks to suddenly get up and get punchin' is probably abit much."  
  
"Well no, I mean... e-even if that _weren't_ the case, I'm not exactly what one would call 'athletic'", Autumn scoffed. "You'd have better luck training that damned voidsent than me."  
  
"I prefer my students with _hands_ instead of _claws_ , thank you very much!" Rayne chuckled. "I'm serious though! After all, you've yet to really ask me for anything, and something like this would be right up my alley! You're a scholar, so you like learning, right?"  
  
"In a way, but I was serious as well. I haven't exercised a day in my life, and my health was always tenuous as a child even at the best of times, so I never really played any sports or anything else of the sort", Autumn explained. "I'm pretty sure the only reason I eluded the voidsent for so long was because of the sheer amount of adrenaline in my body at the time."  
  
"You wouldn't be the first like that. Besides, remember how 'ol Alain put it: accessing your chakras 'enhances your physical capabilities', and what not. You'd be surprised!"  
  
"M-maybe... but..."  
  
" _Buuuuuuuuut_?"  
  
At this point, Rayne was leaning close to Autumn, doing her best to fish for a proper response.  
  
"I... I don't know, I-", Autumn stammered, before looking down in embarrassment.  
  
"You're not the _least_ bit curious to learn about how I fought that thing?" Rayne asked.  
  
"I mean... m-maybe _alittle_ , but-"  
  
" _Alittle_?! Are you sure about that? 'Cause, the way your eyes always seem to light up when I talk about my work or the Fist of Rhalgr... well, it sure seems like you care abit more than just _alittle_."  
  
"Ugh..." Autumn groaned softly in defeat.  
  
She wanted to keep quiet, but Rayne only inched closer, trying to make sure she didn't escape the monk's gaze.  
  
"Come on, you! You're not getting off the hook that easily-"  
  
"Okay! Maybe I am _alittle_ curious!" Autumn admitted. "I _am_ curious to know as to how some random woman clothed in leather and cloth and armed with nothing more than glorified _brass knuckles_ managed to fare better against a fiend than a whole group of armed peacekeepers dressed from head to toe in armor and wielding sharpened swords and spears!"  
  
Autumn shut her eyes as the words seemed to spill out, much like a dam finally giving way to the water behind it. When she finally stopped and reopened her eyes, Rayne's stunned expression was what greeted her.  
  
"N-no offense."  
  
"Well," Rayne playfully chimed, "you won't know unless you come then, hmm?"  
  
 _...Azeyma, give me strength_.  
  
\--  
  
A few days later, a small crowd began to gather in one of the academy's courtyards. The rubble and blood that had stained it once before had long since been cleaned away. In its place, at least on this day, was a large mat with a number of training dummies, wooden posts, and other various monk paraphernalia on top of it.  
  
The crowd itself consisted of no small number of students spending the summer on campus, as well as some of the local townsguard, hoping to gain an edge over any would be villains (or at least their colleagues).  
  
The crowd was busy with conversation when Rayne strode up to the mat, dressed in her familiar yellow garb. She gave the crowd a cursory glance, hoping to see a particular person amongst the crowd, however, her prideful smile drooped into a small grimace when she couldn't not find who she was looking for.  
  
She issued out a small sigh before beginning the speech she had spent the past few nights preparing:  
  
"Okay everyone, If I could have your attention please! My name is Rayne Stout; proud Monk, and member of the order of the Fist of Rhalgr. And today-"  
  
"By the Twelve!"  
  
The sudden outcry stunned Rayne into silence. Confused and annoyed murmurs issued forth from the crowd, before more and more of them turned towards the back. Beyond the commotion, Rayne heard the distinct clacking of something wooden hitting the ground, almost in a rhythmic fashion.  
  
Advancing to what was the back of the audience, Rayne soon discovered the cause of the disturbance. Autumn, with crutches under both arms, ambled towards the crowd, with a nurse hovering just off to her side. A light smirk slowly formed across the monk's face.  
  
" _Crutches_? I thought you hurt your _chest_ , not your _legs_!"  
  
"Spending a few weeks confined to an infirmary doesn't afford you much opportunity to walk around, _especially_ when you're trying to make sure you don't break anything else!" Autumn retorted.  
  
Rayne gave a small chuckle before returning to the mat; "Alright everyone, as I was saying!"  
  
The highlander then launched back into her speech; talking about the origins of the monk's fighting style, a brief history of the Fist of Rhalgr, and finally, discussing what chakras were and how they fit into a monk's martial arts. The discussion went about how Alain described it might go; Some of the audience looked on with blank stares, others looked deep in thought or were busy scribbling in journals or books. Occasionally, she would glance over to Autumn, who had taken a position in the front of the audience, albeit off to one side. Whenever she did, however, she was met with the same stoic gaze.  
  
 _Hmm, better than falling asleep, I suppose_ , thought Rayne.  
  
After she had exhausted her speech, Rayne clapped her hands together in excitement. "Alright, boring stuff's out of the way, you guys interested in actually giving things a shot?"  
  
Murmurs in the crowd issued forth. Rayne only smirked in response as she began to setup 3 wooden posts, each buttressed by small, square iron stands.  
  
"Originally..." Rayne grunted as she worked, "this workshop was set to take place some distance from the academy, on an old battlefield of sorts. However, as you all know, this courtyard was recently the scene of a tragedy; a pitched battle between armed guards and a bloodthirsty fiend.  
  
She finished setting up a second post before continuing. "Now, I bring that up because one does not start life with all of their chakras opened. Monks from the Order would seek out places of battle, as meditating or fighting in these places would serve to stir a chakra within them. The more bloodshed and death that occurred in the location, the easier it was to open one, especially any of the latter ones. Now, a place like this wouldn't serve to open the _seventh_ chakra..."  
  
She slammed down the third and final post to punctuate her point: "but it should serve well enough to open someone's first. Saves us a hike through this heat too; everyone wins!"  
  
Rayne stood before the posts, her hands triumphantly at her hips. "So, how about a demonstration!"  
  
She turned on her heel and faced one of the posts. With an audible grunt, she punched the post with what looked like all her strength. A loud thud rang out in the courtyard, but the post looked no worse for wear.  
  
"Now, with just physical strength alone, you'd be hard-pressed to break one of these posts. Probably have to be thrice my size to do it. However, if I open one of my chakras..."  
  
Rayne closed her eyes and re-assumed her stance in front of the post. A faint orange aura billowed around the monk before she let loose another punch. As fist met post the second time, however, the sound of exploding wood rang out instead, showering the vicinity with splinters as the very top of the post hurtled to the ground. The crowd gasped at the spectacle, clearly not expecting the result.  
  
Rayne faced the crowd once more with what could only have been described as a shite-eating grin. "When you throw your own aether into the mix... well, you see the results. And if you think that's impressive, you should see what a fully-trained monk can do to a plate of magitek armor!" She launched into a boisterous laugh as the crowd murmured excitedly.  
  
Satisfied with her demonstration, Rayne removed the damaged post from its stand and set a new post in its place. "Now, who wants to give it a go? I'll coach you through it as best as I can; Don't worry if you can't quite get it, it tends to be pretty hard the first time around."  
  
Two of the townsguard in the audience jumped at the opportunity, immediately moving in front of their respective posts to try to emulate Rayne's example. A third person, a confident student, soon joined them, and they all began to punch at the post with what strength they had.  
  
Autumn, in the meanwhile, merely looked on; It had proven quite the effort alone in merely arriving at the workshop. Yet, despite the complaints her legs gave her, she stood glued to the action, absorbing everything that she could.  
  
Not that much else occurred; after a few minutes and the development of sore hands, the three volunteers threw in the towel. Though Rayne fully expected this result, she nonetheless felt a blow against her own pride.  
  
"Hmm, mayhap a change in tact would help..." she mused."How about this; are there any spellcasters in the audience today? Anything at all: Conjury, Thaumaturgy, Arcanistry; anything that has had a hand in manipulating aether?"  
  
The murmuring of the crowd renewed, yet all seemed hesitant to make the leap. Autumn felt compelled to step forward; she'd be exactly what Rayne was asking for. Yet, fear and anxiety stayed her approach. _What could someone injured like me do that trained guards couldn't? If anything, I'd end up just hurting my hands and maybe worsening my chest too. I shouldn't even be here-_  
  
"Why don't you give it a try, Autumn?"  
  
The sheepish request broke Autumn out from her mind. She turned to the source, and found Celica standing there with a quizzical look on her face.  
  
"You learned quite abit of arcanistry, right?"  
  
"I... I did, but..." Autumn looked away with a pained expression on her face.  
  
"I believe in you!" Celica blurted out. "If anyone from the academy could do it, it's you! After all, you..."  
  
Autumn turned back to her friend to find her stifling a tear. Her mind flashed back to when Celica layed on the ground, with the voidsent just inches away.  
She saved her when no one else could.  
  
The storm in her mind seemed to dissipate upon realizing this truth anew.  
  
"Can I try?"  
  
Autumn's voice rang out admist the noise of the crowd. Rayne smirked in response; "It's all yours!"  
  
Before her nurse had the chance to dissuade her charge, Autumn ambled in front of one of the posts. She could see indentures in the post upon her arrival; a product of one of the townsguard's efforts. Yet, the post looked as sturdy up close as it did from a distance, leaving the young Elezen wondering how the deed could be done.  
  
Rayne strode up to Autumn's side. "Are you sure about this? As much as you succeeding would send me over the moon in joy, I don't wanna see you get any more hurt than... well..." She gestured towards Autumn's bandages to punctuate her point.  
  
"I want to, as you said, 'give it a go'", Autumn quipped, flashing a soft smile.  
  
Rayne looked to Autumn's nurse before giving a visible shrug. "Alright then! Lets see if my idea can make things alittle smoother."  
  
"Like I mentioned earlier, chakras help regulate the flow of aether in a person. The reason I wanted to try doing this with a spellcaster is that you lot already have a handle on manipulating aether. Correct me if I'm wrong, but casters usually focus aether through an item or something, like a staff or a tome, right?"  
  
Autumn nodded. Her guess was rudimentary, but nonetheless accurate (at least by her reckoning).  
  
"Monks fight in a similar manner, however instead of focusing their aether to an object, the person is the object _themselves_ , or in this case, their fist. Think you can try that?"  
  
"Focus the aether through my fist..." Autumn whispered, looking at her hand. _Worth a shot, I suppose._  
  
Autumn placed her crutches to the side, making sure she could keep steady enough to even throw a punch before she got going on anything. Satisfied that she wasn't in danger in falling over, she closed her eyes and did her best to gather the aether in her body, before attempting to focus what she could to her right hand.  
  
 _Pretend it's your book. You're casting a spell; you're casting **Fist**.  
_  
When she felt ready, Autumn cocked back her arm and let loose her strongest punch. A soft thud rang out in the courtyard and the accompanying pain told her all she needed to know about her result.  
  
Rayne stood a small distance away, deep in thought on how to guide her latest would-be pupil.  
  
"How about this: When I threw my punch, I imagined my aether flowing in my body through my arm, like a raging river or a thunderbolt. It's not so much that you just build up the aether in something; I could tell you managed that just fine. You gotta also send it out; make it flow outward... like you're punching with not just your fist, but your own aether too! That... make any sense?"  
  
Autumn gave Rayne's advice some thought before closing her eyes once more. _Punch with my aether too... I'm not sure I've done anything like that, but I can try._ Once more, she gathered her aether, and then let loose another punch, while trying to push her aether out alongside it.  
  
Another thud. Another shot of pain. Autumn could tell that it made more of an impact than last, yet the result was the same. She gripped her hand, wincing from the pain.  
  
Rayne couldn't stop herself from sighing in frustration. _That seemed right, I could feel that one from here. What went wrong then?  
_  
She gave the issue more thought; There was a something missing...  
  
An epiphany dawned on the Monk.  
  
She strode back over to Autumn, who was still holding her hand in pain.  
"Okay... I have an idea..." Rayne whispered. "You might hate me for suggesting it, but I have an idea."  
  
"I want you to think back on that day when you got chased by that voidsent. Try to remember _everything_ you felt: The fear, the pain, that rush of adrenaline... all of it."  
  
Autumn shot back a concerned expression.  
  
"My idea is that I want to try and emulate how a person would feel when they're fighting. Like I said, meditating or fighting in certain environments can help unlock a person's chakra. Right now, we're in a conducive environment, but we're also in relative safety. If you pretended that you were in a dangerous environment... that might be the key. Not just being in a place of battle, but _believing_ you're in a battle too!"  
  
 _Shouldn't you know?! **You're** the expert here!_ The thought sounded off in her head, but Autumn remained silent in reality. "I can try that, I guess."  
  
Rayne nodded and stepped away. Autumn faced the post again, and closed her eyes. Though with some hesitation, she began gathering her aether, while bringing forward memories of that fateful day.  
  
Feeling the area shake.  
First seeing the voidsent, claws soaked in blood.  
The guards being mowed down by its assault.  
Running through the halls as it chased her.  
The blow she took.  
The fiend inching closer.  
The fear. Knowing she was going to die.  
  
She could feel her heart in her chest. Her breath growing faster and more shallow. Her limbs trembled as the whole world seemed to go silent around her.  
  
Rayne felt a change in the air. She focused her attention towards Autumn, noting a faint, blue aura starting to form around the Elezen.  
  
That final scene kept playing over and over in her mind. Her crumpled body on the ground, as the ogre moved towards her. It was raising one of its claws while she lay limp on the ground. She was going to die.  
  
 _You were going to die._  
 _You were going to **die**._  
 _You were going to die **miserable** and **alone**... _  
  
_...and **no one** would mourn you._  
  
"NO!!!" Autumn howled in anger as she threw her third punch.  
  
She closed her eyes just as her fist made contact... and felt a shower of something hard against her skin.  
  
When she opened her eyes, she couldn't believe what she saw.  
  
The top of the wooden post was gone. A jagged edge marked the new top of the post, while a number of splinters littered the ground around her.  
  
The audience was stunned into silence. Even Rayne found herself in disbelief.  
  
Autumn slowly turned towards her would-be instructor. Tears streaked down her face as a wide, open smile formed. While she said nothing, her expression said all that was needed: _I did it_.  
  
Rayne didn't focus on how her student looked at her however. Her attention was focused on a small, bright light that shined on the Elezen's forehead.  
  
The Monk broke out into a dash and went to hug her student tightly, screaming in delight all the while. "Oh, I _knew_ there was somethin' special about you! I could just _feel_ it!"  
  
Autumn, meanwhile, was trying her best to not simply pass out from the impromptu bear hug.  
  
"Now hold just a moment!"  
  
A Miqo'te man dressed in academy robes stepped forward from the crowd.  
  
"Are you _serious_? Trained townsguards couldn't punch through some post, but _she_ magically can? A girl that I know I've seen lift naught more than 2 or 3 books in all the time she has been here?!"  
  
The man was a familiar face to Autumn; she shared a number of classes with him in the time since starting in the Academy, though she knew little more than that.  
  
"How _convenient_ that the first success should happen on the verge of proving this whole 'workshop' to be a sham, no less."  
  
Rayne shot the youth a dirty look, but regained her composure just as quick. "Well then, I guess she'll have to do it again then, hmm? Autumn, how about you try again on the post on th-"  
  
" _Oh no you don't_!" The man walked over to the mat, pulled out the now broken post, then walked to the pile of unused wooden posts and picked one out from random. With some effort, he placed the new post in the stand.  
  
"Somebody watch the post from the side! I'll be watching Miss Monk over here, just in case she gets any funny ideas... like detonating an explosive she put in those posts beforehand?"  
  
Another student walked out from the crowd and took a position from the side of the post. The crowd at large was unsure on how to respond: Some expressed annoyance at the spectacle, while others eyed the whole show suspiciously.  
  
Triumph now thoroughly squashed, Autumn wore an anxious expression. _Was it all just a trick or something? I...  
_  
The sensation of a hand landing on her shoulder snapped her out of her mind.  
It was Rayne. Her arm was outstretched onto Autumn's shoulder as she gave a warm smile.  
  
"You can do this. Don't let this guy worm into your head. Just remember that feeling from before and _let loose_."  
  
Autumn gave a stoic nod, then walked into position in front of the new post.  
  
 _Focus the aether...guide it to my hand..._  
  
She could feel a slight change from before. It was not that she felt more powerful, it was more that there was an added sensation from before.  
  
 _It almost feels like... my arm's in a stream... or... like a breeze...  
_  
She started to cock back her hand while playing out the scenes of the voidsent attack anew in her head. She was back on the ground, bloodied and bruised. The voidsent edged ever closer.  
  
And yet...  
  
There was a change; A strength burgeoned within her mind's eye. She got up off the ground. She stared down the voidsent in defiance. She cocked back her fist as her strength focused in it.  
  
Her eyes snapped open.  
  
"HAAAAAAH!!"  
  
She swung with all of her might. Her fist connected with the post...  
  
And the post blew open into a shower of splinters.  
  
Audible gasps could be heard from the crowd. The man watching the post jerked back in surprise while the one watching Rayne quickly looked to the scene, shock plastered on his face.  
  
"But... but how?!"  
  
"Did she do anything Rohj?" The man watching the post yelled.  
  
"N-no! She-" The Miqo'te stumbled back in disbelief; Rayne had been still at every point from the moment he focused his attention on her to the point the punch landed. He ran over to the post to inspect the broken pieces for any sign of deception: metal fragments, charred wood, any foreign particulate at all.   
  
Yet all he found was wooden splinters, and the broken post showed no signs of having hosted anything within.  
  
"H-how?!"  
  
Rayne shot out a sigh before throwing her hands up in a shrug.  
  
"If you're quite done tryin' to rain on my parade, I can _show_ ya. That was kinda the whole point of this whole thing, after all."  
  
Meanwhile, Autumn simply stood in awe of her achievement, completely deaf to the people around her. _I did it... I actually did it... and **twice** , no less! Holy shit, I-!  
_  
A sudden sensation of being pushed snapped her back to reality once more.  
  
"Okay Tiger, you did real good, but if I keep you up here, I'm gonna run out of posts!"  
  
"W-wait! Lemme get my crutches first at least!"  
  
\--  
  
The workshop stretched on for most of the afternoon. Encouraged by Autumn's success, many of the audience members made their own attempts at awakening a chakra. Some even succeeded, though they were decisively in the minority (and almost exclusively members of the townsguard).  
  
Following her efforts, Autumn sat down in a postion at the front of the crowd; pride in her accomplishment could not distract her enough from the exhaustion that had settled in as a result of her exertions. _Small wonder my chest isn't killing me right now. Maybe I'm close to a full recovery_ , she mused.  
  
Yet despite the workshop continuing right in front of her, the focus of Autumn's attention was more on the swirl of emotion that was taking place within her. What she just did... should have been impossible for her. She was strictly a person of learning. A person who had no physical ability whatsoever. A person who could only ever train her mind, not her body.  
  
That was all she has ever been.  
All she had ever known.  
  
And now... things were different; That was the only way she could explain it. It was as if she had lived in a single room all her life... and suddenly she had stepped outside.  
  
"Are you alright, Autumn? How do you feel?" Celica hovered over her, concern apparent on her face.  
  
"I feel... _free_...?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So how did Autumn get to that boat...?

_Free, huh? Not the first thing I'd come up with after somethin' like that._  
  
I mean... I wasn't really sure how to explain it back then, and I've yet to come up with anything that would fit better. It was a kind of warmth... but at the same time, I felt lighter... less burdened... you know?  
  
 _Hmmm... maybe. Kinda reminds me of when I first sailed out t' sea. Wind was blowin' so strong, I thought I'd take flight right then an there!_  
  
 _...Still, I'd expect more... 'appiness? Pride? Free is kinda... specific.  
_  
...  
  
 _...Ye okay?  
_  
Yeah... it's just...  
  
 _'ey, no need to go into it if ye don't wanna...  
_  
No, it's fine. Just dredging up old feelings is all. *sigh*  
  
...I mentioned earlier how my father was basically grooming me to be a scholar, right? He always talked about it to me when he got the chance.   
  
"We'll get you into the Academy and then you can become a Scholar. That way, you can go where you want, you'll have plenty of money, plently of people will respect you; you'll be set for life." Etc, etc. He would go on and on about it, as if it was the only thing that really mattered in life.  
  
 _Didja ever want to do... anythin' else?_  
  
Back then... not really. I read alot, didn't interact with others alot... on the one hand, it made sense for someone like me to become a scholar of some kind. On the other... well I didn't really know what else I'd be; Nothing ever really came to mind.  
  
...Nothing realistic anyways.  
  
 _'ow so?_  
  
Well... I was a sucker back then for hero stories. You know, the kind of stories where some guy or girl would ride out and slay a terrible fiend or save a village or whatever? They always made me so happy... and I would daydream about being one of those heroes all the time. Given how weak I was though, not to mention sick half the time... it could be nothing more than that. So... I agreed to becoming an academic and eventual scholar; It just made sense, and I had nothing better in mind. In all honesty, I was pretty happy when I first got into the academy because it felt like things were finally progressing for once.  
  
Initially, my time at the academy didn't do much to change things. I did my work, got my grades, and was making the steady climb towards my goal. Even with Xander hounding me half the time, it didn't feel all that bad. As I got further in my studies though, I got more assignments and more topics to study... which meant less and less time to be able to rest or relax or have fun. At some point, I had to stop reading for fun simply because I no longer had the time for it. And getting to do anything with what few friends I had... ha!  
  
...It... It started to wear on me. I started to get more and more tired, no matter how much sleep I had. I started getting anxious just before and during exams, to the point of actual nausea. Any successes felt... expected to me, which made my failures feel all the more devastating. And then of course, had Xander's shite to deal with all the while, which only got worse and worse as time went on.  
  
Shadowing some of the scholars at the academy only served to exasperate things further. It seemed like they never really had any time to do anything they wanted, unless what they wanted happened to be their focus of research. One scholar, for instance, could talk your ear off about the effects of specific elemental aspected aether on individuals; his stuff was kinda neat... if you could get past some of the more terrifying aspects of his work. Meanwhile, I... didn't have anything like that; everything was just some random thing to me that I was told I had to learn. At one point, I made a depressing realization:  
  
I wasn't going through all of this because I wanted to anymore.  
I was just doing this because my father wanted me to, and because others expected me to.  
And the worst part was... I had _no idea_ what I wanted to do, and no time to work out what I would.  
  
I felt...  
  
 _Trapped.  
_  
Yeah...  
  
 _Heh, makes abit more sense, I suppose._  
  
By the Twelve, I feel like a part of me was kinda hoping that voidsent _would've_ killed me when I went and pelted it with a spell. A girl selflessly endangering herself by attacking a voidsent in order to save her dear friend and those around her; It sounds like something right out of one of my stories.  
  
...Those first few nights in the infirmary forced me to kind of address those feelings for the first time; I remember literally crying myself to sleep a number of times early on. I worked out that how I was living was, in fact, no way to live, and I got to thinking what _would_. However, I made no real headway, only succeeding in driving my head around in circles.  
  
If it wasn't for all of Rayne's visits, I probably would have spent all those weeks just wallowing in my own misery. When she talked about her journeys, and about the monks of the Fist of Rhalgr... they reminded me of those heroic stories. Mayhap that was why I was so interested in them all the time. And when she personally invited me to her workshop... my heart skipped a beat. A large part of me felt like it was going to be a waste of time, but I held this faintest hope that maybe, just maybe, I would be wrong for once.  
  
And I was. Couldn't have been happier to be.  
  
 _So wait... is this **illustrious** Rayne on board right now then?_  
  
...I wish. I did say I was alone, remember?  
  
 _Aye, that ye did._  
  
 _...What 'appened to her then?_  
  
\--  
  
"You want me to what now?"  
  
Summer was finally coming to a close on Thavnair, which meant that classes were set to begin anew soon. Following the workshop, Rayne had spent much of her time split between training around the island and working with some of the local townsguard, with these moments only interrupted by the occassional visit to the academy to chat with Headmaster Alain and Autumn.  
  
Autumn, in the meanwhile, spent only a few days more in the infirmary following the workshop, before finally being discharged with a simple order: "Take it easy". Yet much of the Elezen's thoughts were consumed not with plans for relaxation or preparation for her final year as an academic, but with what had happened at the workshop. She spent much of the sweltering days absorbing as much information as she could about monks, chakras, and their fighting style. The balmy nights were spent practicing what moves she could find, and learning how to better harness the aether within her. With every page, her fervor only grew, and with every punch, the fire within her burned ever brighter.  
  
Yet, with the changing of the seasons, Rayne decided that it was finally time to resume her travels and leave Thavnair. It did not take long for this news to reach Autumn's ears. Though she long prepared for this day, hearing the news nonetheless felt like a gut-punch to her; They would soon go their separate ways and return to their old lives.  
  
The day of Rayne's departure, Autumn came to a decision. She likely wouldn't be able to convince the Monk to stay any longer, but...  
  
"I... I said I want you to train me! As a student Monk or... _whatever_ you would call it!"  
  
Rayne stood stunned by the sudden request. She shook her head a few times to help regain composure. "Wait, what brought all this on?"  
  
"You're leaving Thavnair, aren't you? I want to build upon what I learned at your workshop, and the only real way I can do that is if I come with and train under you!"  
  
"But what about your studies? You haven't graduated yet, if I recall."  
  
"I... don't care about that!" Autumn exclaimed. "I've come to realize that I don't want to be a scholar; I've only been miserable following that path! But your workshop... after that, I've never felt happier. I... I want to see where this path leads. For the first time in my life, I found something I _want_ to do... so can you please teach me?"  
  
Rayne crossed her arms and looked down, lost in thought. As the seconds ticked by, the mood in the air grew more sullen, Rayne's face slowly shifting into a frown.  
  
"I can't, dear. As much as I might want to... I can't."  
  
Autumn felt the pangs of dejection plunge into her heart. "W-why not?"  
  
Rayne turned to her side, trying her best to not see the pained expression on the Elezen's face: "I'll give you this: I didn't expect _anyone_ to be able to awaken a chakra that day, except maybe a guard or two. Ordinarily, I'm very picky about who it is that I try to teach. I usually stick to groups that I know have had an extensive amount of prior physical training: Adventurers Guilds, Mercenaries, Guards and Knights... they tend to be very receptive to such training exercises. So, the fact that you were able to awaken a chakra is... _amazing_."  
  
She turned back to Autumn: "That being said, to start, I would have to start from square one with you. In an ideal world, that wouldn't be a problem... but right now, I don't have the time to spare to be able to do that, or at least do so effectively. I would have to either take shortcuts or spread out certain lessons over a longer period of time, and that would only stunt your potential."  
  
"Furthermore... the work that I do is exceedingly dangerous, even to someone as skilled as me. In all good conscious, I can't take you with me because I'm almost _certain_ I'll just end up getting you killed!"  
  
Autumn's face contorted in confusion. "What do you mean? How dangerous can teaching be?"  
  
Rayne shot her a stern look, which caused the Elezen to recoil slightly. This gaze did not last long, however, as a realization dawned on the monk.  
"I never did tell you that part, huh..."  
  
She closed some of the distance between her and Autumn before continuing: "My teaching expeditions don't come cheap, and in order to keep my finances high enough to be able to do... _this_...", she stated as she waved her arms around, indicating the world around her, "I have to assist the Ala Mhigan Resistance every so often. Rhalgr take me, _they_ were the ones that came up with the idea to begin with, I just agreed because I always wanted to do something like this from the start."  
  
"The Ala Mhigan Resistance..." Autumn mused to herself. The topic came up on occassion in her discussions with Rayne: A group of freedom fighters that came about after the Garlean Empire invaded Gyr Abania shortly following the death of Theodric. Though she never mentioned working with them, Rayne often held these people in high regard in her conversations... and now Autumn had a better idea of why.  
  
"Yeah, and the 'work' I do for them is often of the fighting variety. Sometimes on the front lines... whatever a guerilla group defines that as; Their words, not mine."  
  
Rayne placed her hands on Autumn's shoulders. "The Garleans are a nasty bunch. They don't really care for prisoners, and the few times they do... well, death would probably have been the better option. If I take you with me..."  
  
She turned her face away, gritting her teeth. "I don't want to take you _anywhere near them_. You're... you're a good person, Autumn, and I'd never be able to forgive myself if something happened to you out there. Trust me... it's better this way."  
  
Autumn heard what she was saying, yet her tears fell unabated. It made sense to her what Rayne was saying, and yet... what was the alternative?  
  
"B-but... I don't w-want to give this up...!" Autumn tried her best to choke back her tears, to little avail.  
  
Rayne's arms fell to her side. _If only I could take her back to Rhalgr's Reach. Give her to the monks who once trained there...  
  
All the more reason to keep going though, but that doesn't help us here.  
_  
The two stood silent for what seemed like hours to them. Autumn stood straight with her head hanging down and tears falling from her clenched eyes, as Rayne simply looked down in dejection. The monk searched her mind for something; _anything_ that could be helpful. Even the smallest thing that could let her Elezen friend take the first step-  
  
A bell dinged within the Monk's head.  
  
"... There... might be something though..."  
  
Autumn's head shot up, her eyes wide with anticipation. "W-what?! What is it?!"  
  
"Wh-woah! Hold your chocobos there, hun! Don't get your hopes that high!" Rayne hands shot up in defense.  
  
When it looked like Autumn had calmed down, she continued: "As much as I wish I could take you to Gyr Abania to get trained up like I was, it'd simply be too dangerous for you right now, not to mention the whole... you know...'Theodric razing the order to the ground' bit. However... I do know that in some of the other city-states in Eorzea, they have these guilds that help teach novice adventurers, like you, specific combat styles. Some cover some of the main spell types out there, like... *ahem*... arcanistry, and some teach you how to wield a particular weapon of choice."  
  
"Then there's this one guild in Thanalan: this desert region towards the southern tip of the continent. You'll find them in a place called Ul'dah, and they specialize in hand-to-hand combat; I think they refer to the whole thing as Pugilism. It wouldn't be exactly the kind of training an initiate of the order would undergo... but I'd say it's the next best thing. Hells, if you came out on the other side of their training, I might even be able to take you on then and teach you properly!"  
  
Autumn stood frozen, absorbing all that Rayne was telling her. An Ishgardian astrologian could predict the events of the coming week from the shine in Autumn's eyes.  
  
Rayne stopped and flashed a warm smile. "...I'm glad I got to meet you, Autumn. Stay out of trouble, alright? And give that old fart in charge my regards."  
  
The two shared a brief hug before the monk made her way past the town gates, in the direction of the nearest harbor. Though she had been in Autumn's life for a fleeting moment, their time together would drastically change the fate of the young Elezen...  
  
\--  
  
 _And so... ye ended up 'ere!_  
  
Well, not immediately. That was just over a year ago at this point.  
  
Not that I suppose there was much left to add to the story, so to speak. One of the first things I did after Rayne left was to talk to my father about... well, everything. He... didn't take what I told him very well.  
  
 _I bet not, considerin' what ye said of 'im so far._  
  
Ugh... It was probably the angriest he had ever gotten towards me. Basically threatened to disown me for wanting to walking away from the scholarly life alone. Didn't even mention that I wanted to be a monk for at least another 3 days just because of how scared I was of what he'd do.  
  
I went to the Headmaster after some time to ask for his advice. Needless to say, he was pretty stunned about what I was planning as well, but he at least listened to what I had to say. In the end, he suggested that, at the very least, I should try to finish my education and graduate from the academy. At least then, at worst, I could become a scholar still if the whole monk thing didn't work out.  
  
 _Aye, not a bad idea. Doesn't 'urt to 'ave a backup plan.  
_  
Felt more like a compromise to me, but eh. He did end up talking about the whole thing to my father once classes started back up again, including the advice he gave me. I suppose Dad was satisfied with that at least, 'cause he started talking to me again not too far into the first week, though he would outright ignore or shut down any discussion about monkhood and whatnot.  
That last year was kind of a blur to me at this point. It definitely proved to be alot quieter at least, what with Xander gone and no one else really wanting to start any 'mock wars' with me. The classes also seemed tamer by comparison as well. That being said, my grades took abit of a dip during that year. With what little drive I had left to become a scholar gone and my main 'rival' no longer in the picture, I didn't really feel it necessary to push myself as hard as I used to. Instead of studying, I would spend more time looking up info about things like Eorzea, Monks, pugilism, etc. Funnily enough, I still did rather well in classes, but I did end up losing my top spot in the class rankings as a result. Still, it was more than enough to graduate, and graduate I did.  
  
Now at that point, graduates typically start getting approached by scholars or professors looking for willing apprentices to assist in their work. Either that, or they put up advertisements looking for helpers, if they don't have anyone specific in mind. I _did_ get a few offers myself: 2 were for alchemists located not too far from Radz-at-Han, 1 was this traveling arcanist looking to further augment carbuncles, and I even got a request from the academy library.  
  
My mind was already set though; I still wanted to be a monk, much to my father's dismay. If anything, my desire for it had only _grown_ in that year. It wasn't just about feeling free or whatever any more, it became more of a desire to have the power to help others. _Actually_ helping others too, instead of just... I don't know, giving handy advice or doing menial jobs or whatnot.  
  
Dad fought me tooth and nail about it initially. A day didn't pass by without him trying to lecture me into taking one of the apprenticeships or abandoning "my mad dream". I didn't give him a damn inch though; for one of the first times in my life, I had something I wanted to do... and he eventually took notice.  
  
That, and he would often vent to Headmaster Alain, who also had long taken notice of how determined I was to do this. Only found out about those meetings because Alain told me himself, although he never mentioned specifics on what was talked about.  
  
In the end, my father finally relented... sorta. He admitted that he was willing to let me travel to Eorzea only because he figured that if I left, I'd "get this monk business out of my system". However, in order to leave, I had to promise him 2 specific things:  
  
1) Under no circumstances was I to tell anyone about my family name.  
2) Disguise my face as often as possible.  
  
His reasoning was in the form of a story he heard once: An adventurer had run afoul of a group of outlaws during his outings. The outlaws were able to find out where the adventurer's family lived, and slaughtered them all to send a message to him. Honestly, I felt like he was just being overprotective, but he was adamant about these rules. So, I accepted, if only to be able to finally leave.  
  
Things moved quickly after that. My father helped purchase a ticket on a passenger ship bound for Eorzea... we made our way out to the harbor... I gave him one last hug...  
  
...and here I am.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so the past has been told, but one nagging issue remains...

Raging Tide stretched her arms up in the air and gave out a pleased grunt.  
  
"Quite the story, lass! I thank ye, certainly 'elped pass this night by."  
  
The invigorated Sea Wolf turned to Autumn looking to thank her properly. Yet, she froze when she caught a glimpse of Autumn; Despite being hidden by her mask, she could tell the Elezen was blankly staring out to the sea once more, with an expression of utter dread.  
  
"Ye 'avin' second thoughts?"  
  
"...That obvious?" Autumn scoffed. Her gaze sank even lower than before. "I was so confident of everything this morning. Felt like I was making the right decision."  
  
"...It all went away as soon as the ship left the harbor. It's the reason why I'm up here right now; I can't sleep for the life of me because I'm so damn anxious and... s-scared. Terrified. I've never been all alone quite like this... and not only that, but I'm going to a foreign continent just to throw myself at dangerous monster and bandits and..."  
  
Autumn's voice trailed off as fear gripped her anew. _Just a moment ago, she sounded so prideful. Now she seems like she be drownin_ ', thought the deckhand.  
  
Raging Tide rested her back against the railing right beside Autumn, her arms crossed in front of her.  
  
"...The first time I set out for sea as a deckhand, I was so scared about gettin' eaten by a shark, I didn't let go of one of the railings fer _hours_."  
  
Autumn looked back to her with a puzzled look.  
  
"Not quite somethin' ye'd think someone callin' themselves 'Raging Tide' would do, aye? For the record, you be tellin' anyone on here that, I'll find me a plank and have ye walk it."  
  
"Heh, noted."  
  
" _There's_ that smile. Lass, what yer feelin' is _normal_. 'Tis a scary thing to 'ead out on yer own for the first time." She stepped away from the railing to assume a triumphant pose.  
  
"When ye get like that, ye gotta remember why ye set out in the first place. Not just the reason, though, the _feelin'_ too. Gotta 'old on to that fire in yer 'eart; the strength that got ye out the door in the first place! As long as ye can do that, ye can do anythin'."  
  
 _Remember the feeling that I left for..._ Raging Tide's words rang a truth in Autumn's head. In truth, it was not so divergent from what she considered before in her initial attempts to work out her anxiety, though she focused more then on how depressed she was rather than focus on what drove her forward; the figurative fire in her heart that pushed her to pursue this path to begin with.   
  
_Dammit, can it really be that simple? ...Maybe I should talk these things out more often._  
  
"Before ye get to do _anythin'_ though, we got one thing we gotta work out first!"  
  
Autumn snapped out of her mind to find Raging Tide squatting down right in front of her, looking up at her with a single finger pointed towards her.  
  
" _Yer name_! If ye can't use yer family name, we gotta come up with one for ya! Like I said, people won't be too trustin' of any adventurer who be holdin' secrets like that!"  
  
Staggering back slighty at Raging Tide's sudden shift in position, Autumn took a second before conceding the point. "Y-you're probably right."  
  
The two stood briefly in thought. Raging Tide was the first to break the silence once more.  
  
"Autumn Tide!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Heheh, worth a shot!"  
  
"As flattering as that might be, a hardened sailor I am not. Not too much a fan of beaches or sand either, truth be told."  
  
Raging Tide shot Autumn a confused look.  
  
"What? Sand gets _boring_ when you spend your whole life around it. Not to mention how hard it is to clean sand-covered clothes."  
  
"Alright... well, yer an Elezen... 'ow 'bout an Elezen surname of some kind?"  
  
"Maybe if I had thought of that before leaving home. That being said, I don't want to randomly pick a name now and then actually find someone out there with said name. I could just _makeup_ a name, but if I make it too unique, it might draw more attention than I'd like."  
  
"Hmm, this might be 'arder than I figured then."  
  
Silence fell anew between the two as they lost themselves in thought.  
  
"Well, lets do that thing you scholars like t' do... 'brainstormin'' was it?"  
  
"You have something in mind?"  
  
"Maybe. 'ow 'bout we think of things this way: What is it you wanna accomplish of this trip of yers? I get you wanna be a Monk, but why? If ye just wanted to punch things, coulda stayed on that island fer all it mattered."  
  
Autumn brought one of her hands in front of her mouth, contemplating the question. "...I kinda mentioned it before, but... I guess the best way to phrase it is: To have the power to help people. Save them, even... Just like what Rayne did for me that one day. I don't know if someone like me can ever reach that point, but... I want to at least try. I want to inspire people to keep going, maybe even save others too in the process!"  
  
"Heh, a _hero_ then."  
  
"I-I guess..." she muttered, blushing all the while.  
  
"Hmm, then maybe something _heroic_ then", Raging Tide said with a smirk. "Sure I can't sell ya on Autumn Tide?"  
  
"Psh, if I wanted to go a watery route, I'd just go full 'on-the-nose' and use Autumn Rayne."  
  
"Heh, she might 'ppreciate that. Alright, what about-"  
  
Raging Tide's train of thought was interrupted by a change in the horzion past the stern of the ship. The dark indigo of the night slowly bled away by the freshly emerging oranges and reds of the coming day.  
  
"Oh, wouldja look at that, lass! Dawn be here!"  
  
Autumn turned around just as the sun began to rise over the horizon; its arrival starting to dispel the dark that had hung in the air for all those hours.  
  
"Well, looks like ye 'eld yer end of the bargain, lass!"  
  
Raging Tide smacked Autumn's back before gripping her shoulder, giving off a prideful laugh. The Elezen, however, didn't notice anything happening around her; her eyes locked on the sunrise in front of her. Though she had seen no shortage of sunsets, it was the first sunrise she had ever witnessed in her life. The sight filled her with a sense of awe... and a strange warmth grew within her.  
  
Then finally, a spark; a flash of inspiration.  
  
"...That", Autumn whispered.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"T-that...! _That_!" Autumn struggled to get the words out, all while pointing to the sight in front of her.  
  
"Aye... what about _that_?"  
  
"I... I wanna be _that_!"  
  
Raging Tide raised an eyebrow to the statement. "Ye wanna be a sunrise?"  
  
"Yeah! I mean, not in the literal sense b-but..." Autumn clenched her eyes shut. She recognized she was getting too flustered to get her thoughts across, so she made a quick pass over everything in her head to sort everything out before she tried another attempt.  
  
She turned to Raging Tide once she was ready. Despite being behind a visor, the fires of conviction could be seen burning bright in her eyes. “I want to be the kind of person that, when I walk through the door, people will think that a new day has dawned in their lives. When I show up, they see that first light after the long, dark night, and feel things like... hope and warmth a-and... whatever else! You get what I mean, right?”  
  
Raging Tide met Autumn's gaze, and mulled over her heartfelt declaration.  
  
A smirk slowly emerged.  
  
"...Autumn _Dawn_ , then?"  
  
"Ah-!" Hearing that name hit her like a slap to the face. "That... I... abit on-the-nose still, but... I kinda like it..."  
  
Autumn looked down at the ground, processing the name over and over in her head. She couldn't help but blush at the thought of being called that.  
  
"Heh, given that look, I think we 'ave a winner!"  
  
Autumn faintly giggled in response. "I... could get used to it... I think..."   
  
She suddenly shot out a loud yawn; the exhaustion of staying up the whole night was finally washing over her.  
  
Raging Tide flashed her a warm smile. "Looks like someone's finally ready to 'it the 'ay. Since the sun's out, my shift's over, so 'ow 'bout I walk ye down below, _Autumn Dawn_?"  
  
Too embarrassed to speak, Autumn meekly nodded in response.  
  
\--  
The rest of the voyage passed by without incident. Though the same fear that kept her awake that night would reappear on occasion, Autumn took to heart the words Raging Tide told her, and she would press on. The two were often noted being together for most of the remainder on the trip, exchanging stories and sharing memories all the while.  
  
All things eventually come to an end however, as the ship that bore the two (among others) to Eorzea successfully arrived at its destination. After sharing a heartfelt farewell with her newfound friend, Autumn would find herself a carriage to take her to Thanalan, and Ul'dah. There... is where her adventure would finally begin.  
  
An adventure that would prove to be one beyond her wildest dreams...


End file.
